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star wars

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We all know you can’t first become a Jedi Master until you get all whiny about droid maintenance and zapped in the ass a few thousand times by a remote training droid. And yeah, we all know good ol’ uncle Ben gets his chuckles from seeing young Padawans zapped repeatedly by a floating, laser-shooting orb…

In total, there were enough to overtake us blindfolded with all of their whip-arms tied behind their backs. But we had a tub of things they would never suspect. A toothbrush used by Neil, A hollow can enchanted with cat tears by a welder named Larry, two tufts of hair pulled from the back of…

Four pinstripes and a melon. That’s all the payment we could gather. Down among the shantie with tattered cloth and mud holding make-shift walls to the ground, droids would peek from the blinds, unsure if they would be extracted or provided parts. Why we were able to get a melon in these parts, we’ll never…