Better grab your kids and grab your wife and grab your Buzz Lightyear — Disney’s Hollywood Studios will soon open their newest money-sucking attraction: Toy Story Land! *Record scratch* Wait. Two questions. 1) Why did it take three movies (and 22 years!) to make this happen? And 2) Why are the toys and characters, regular size in the movie, but 100x larger than a human in the theme park? Oh well, TAKE MY MONEY, DISNEY.

Announced last year at the 2017 D23 Expo, Toy Story Land is set to feature rides and attractions from everyone’s favorite Disney/Pixar movie (and I’m not talking about Finding Nemo – Sorry, Nemo). From the preview video, the park includes giant blocks, Jenga pieces, and a number of other oversized toys to make audiences feel like they’ve shrunk down to the size of a G.I. Joe, all built up around one roller coaster — the line is going to be insane.

We assume there are more rides with the other ginormous versions of Toy Story characters scattered around the park. Woody stares at visitors maniacally as they enter the park. Jessie and Rex guard the roller coaster like the Unicorn Gundam watches over the Diver City Tokyo Plaza in Japan. Buzz Lightyear is said to lord it over his upcoming rocket ride. And these are just the stars which were already announced. Oh, here’s another ride…

The best way to view the entire park looks to be from the aforementioned Slinky Dog Dash roller coaster which winds, spins, and curves its way around the entire park. Those who aren’t big fans of roller coasters (or heights) can ride Alien Swing Saucers – a ride which, if the concept art is to be believed, looks like a blend of bumper cars and the dizzying teacups you find at any regular Disneyland.

Even the park’s restaurant gives the illusion that visitors are no bigger than a Happy Meal toy. Woody’s Lunch Box (which is a weird name considering it’s actually Andy’s lunch box) takes an oversized lunch box and thermos and turns them into a quick-service window which serves American food and drinks.

The park is set to open in the summer of 2018, so be sure to keep an eye out for Toy Story Land as it nears completion!


Carlos wrestles gators, and by gators, we mean words. He also loves good design, good books, and good coffee.