How To Avoid Being a SolidWorks Ass…embly

Oh, stop it. That title is just too clever.

It’s hard to believe there would be any rude, self-serving miscreants in the realm of SolidWorks, but you watch. One day your helping old ladies take their meds, next day your making everyone change part colors and capitalize the ‘S’ and ‘W’ in SolidWorks for all your company’s email communication.

There’s at least six… no wait seven things you shouldn’t do.

1. Don’t load everyone’s settings for them
   One guy actually said to me, “We shouldn’t let employees load settings because they might change something and we don’t want them to know too much.” I punched his ear… with harsh and mind-altering words, till the ringing snapped him out of his esoteric haze. “Keeping people from knowing how to do something can actually make handling SolidWorks problems worse and provides no value to the company.” I said with a bunch of fast and confusing hand movements.
2. Don’t brag about your dreams being in 3D
   Unfortunately working in SolidWorks too much can alter brain activity. This has probably been tested in SolidWorks Labs on unsuspecting engineers to harness more computing power for RealView graphics settings. Forget Video Card compatibility, find out if your engineer is compatible. Anyway, drink less coffee before bedtime and avoid telling others about the secret test facility. They’ll never believe you.
3. Don’t guffaw when someone says,”I don’t know how to mate very well.”
   Actually, this one’s allright. In fact, you should laugh to the point of choking… real loud and a lot, till people just stare… again… at you… till everyone is completely distracted from work.
4. Don’t make fun of someone that doesn’t have a CSWP
   Better yet, don’t get a shiny gold jacket with CSWP (Certified SolidWorks Professional) – IN YOUR FACE written across the back. This would only be ok if you wear really short shorts, have a 1970′s mustache and pretend to ride a bicycle around the halls. Brrring-brring.
5. Don’t yell SolidWorks real loud in an AutoCAD users face
   It’s tempting I know, wanting to taunt your multi-dimensionality all over the place, but you get too close one time and suddenly your arms have been dislocated. They’re a wily bunch, those AutoCAD folk. Best to keep your distance.
6. Don’t put up a bulletin board for models that suck
   It starts with some markups. Then you go ballistic and put screenshots of Joe’s overdefined sketch on the wall. Poor Joe. He just started using SolidWorks and he already has two ulcers. I would do the opposite and have employees feature some methods they’ve used to perform task…as long as they don’t, ya know, suck.
7. Don’t blurt out each feature you create
   While it may seem like fun, it’s mostly annoying. Hmmm, although… it would be kind of fun to have an in-office contest to see who could say it the loudest. We can chock that up to team building, instead of annoying guy that shouts SolidWorks commands. If you try this let me know.