How To Avoid Being a SolidWorks Ass…embly

by Josh on February 13, 2008 · Comments

jackass.jpgOh, stop it. That title is just too clever.

It’s hard to believe there would be any rude, self-serving miscreants in the realm of SolidWorks, but you watch. One day your helping old ladies take their meds, next day your making everyone change part colors and capitalize the ‘S’ and ‘W’ in SolidWorks for all your company’s email communication.

There’s at least six… no wait seven things you shouldn’t do.

  1. Don’t load everyone’s settings for them
    One guy actually said to me, “We shouldn’t let employees load settings because they might change something and we don’t want them to know too much.” I punched his ear… with harsh and mind-altering words, till the ringing snapped him out of his esoteric haze. “Keeping people from knowing how to do something can actually make handling SolidWorks problems worse and provides no value to the company.” I said with a bunch of fast and confusing hand movements.
  2. Don’t brag about your dreams being in 3D
    Unfortunately working in SolidWorks too much can alter brain activity. This has probably been tested in SolidWorks Labs on unsuspecting engineers to harness more computing power for RealView graphics settings. Forget Video Card compatibility, find out if your engineer is compatible. Anyway, drink less coffee before bedtime and avoid telling others about the secret test facility. They’ll never believe you.
  3. Don’t guffaw when someone says,”I don’t know how to mate very well.”
    Actually, this one’s allright. In fact, you should laugh to the point of choking… real loud and a lot, till people just stare… again… at you… till everyone is completely distracted from work.
  4. Don’t make fun of someone that doesn’t have a CSWP
    Better yet, don’t get a shiny gold jacket with CSWP (Certified SolidWorks Professional) – IN YOUR FACE written across the back. This would only be ok if you wear really short shorts, have a 1970’s mustache and pretend to ride a bicycle around the halls. Brrring-brring.
  5. Don’t yell SolidWorks real loud in an AutoCAD users face
    It’s tempting I know, wanting to taunt your multi-dimensionality all over the place, but you get too close one time and suddenly your arms have been dislocated. They’re a wily bunch, those AutoCAD folk. Best to keep your distance.
  6. Don’t put up a bulletin board for models that suck
    It starts with some markups. Then you go ballistic and put screenshots of Joe’s overdefined sketch on the wall. Poor Joe. He just started using SolidWorks and he already has two ulcers. I would do the opposite and have employees feature some methods they’ve used to perform task…as long as they don’t, ya know, suck.
  7. Don’t blurt out each feature you create
    While it may seem like fun, it’s mostly annoying. Hmmm, although… it would be kind of fun to have an in-office contest to see who could say it the loudest. We can chock that up to team building, instead of annoying guy that shouts SolidWorks commands. If you try this let me know.
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Comments
  • Never let the Boss see your fully customized SolidWorks Drawing Template. You know, the one that will create a fully dimensioned and annotated 3 view drawing with only one click.

    "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain..."

    Devon
  • aWhatmough
    Great stuff Josh!!! you have a witt that is second to none :-).. how do you come up with this stuff??

    AL
  • Um, sorry, but I couldn't help but laugh, as I have been guilty of #1 and #6.

    Sorry, but just like SOME people shouldn't be allowed to have kids, or drive a car, SOME people should never be allowed to get behind a keyboard/mouse of a CAD system.

    I would have worded it this way..."We shouldn’t let SOME employees load settings because they might royally **** something up and destroy all the hard work the competent SW users have put into building a good, robust CAD/PDM system for the company to make money with by getting products out the door on time..."

    For #6, the employee had been fired from the company almost a year prior, so it was not a direct embarrassment to him, but served well to help other see what not to do.

    Ok Josh, let me have it. I have my ear-muffs in place. Punch away.
  • START SKETCH!

    LINE! LINE! LINE! LINE!

    EXTRUDE!

    HOLE WIZZA WIZZLE WIZZIRDD AWAY!

    MATE! MATE! MATE!

    (I wonder just how #7 would be received here at work)
  • Andy
    You got me scared, I'm quilty too. I think I'm going to lose my arms very soon.

    Is it possible to have a video clip of you showing those hand movements, that would be cool.
  • Josh
    actually Bruce, you're right. I wouldn't give anybody free reign to destroy a lot of hard work. It's really important to show them the 'how', otherwise their mistake is my fault too.

    Now that wasn't to rough huh? Glad it made you laugh too :)
  • Does #5 hold true for Inventor users as well? Because I just can't help myself!
  • Josh
    I'd play it by ear Kyle. you know, test it out with a little shove into the water fountain in the hall... see the reaction. watch for hidden razors and such.
  • Jason
    The new 2008 "Screw Mate" gets me chuckling everytime......and almost had to walk out of the VAR's "Whats new" presentation.
  • Super Awesome Kyle
    This is the greatest article ever! Everything to it was so funny. Maybe you could become a comedian one day.
  • Zach A
    Thats hilarious, and the thrird one down fits the guy who works next to me very well to thepoint where I end uphaving to just walk away from the extream amount of laughter it causes in the room. Can you make fun of Auto Cad people if you were wonce one yourself?
  • hannah
    I would be the one to walk around in a gold jacket to show everyone that im better than them and i would tell everyone to read my jacket! lol theyd be so jealous.
  • VA-LIZZLE
    This article was really funny. It would be funny though, to see someone post some of their sucky models up in the board. I would have to laugh histarically at them. If it was me I know i would be embarrassed to do that.
  • Keenan
    You know if you think about it, we live in a 3D world. So number 2 we all do. If we lived in 2D, than it would be kind of hard to comunicate to each other. "Hey you on the third sheet of paper, will you extrude this drawing for me?" I liked #5 even though I probably will do that in the future.
  • Super Awesome Josh!!
    how many people do you know that has done #4 thats halarious ,the contest for #7 would be funny to see who could yell the loudest !! first place that gold jacket !!
  • Randizzle
    I thought that the article was kind of funny, I just never realized howmany people out there do ridiculous things like that. I guess you just learn something new everyday, the mating part reminded me of somebody in my CADD class.
  • BRAD
    If you met a women with the last name solidworks would you per purose right away or would you wait and see how she functions just in case she has some glitches her performance.
  • HatTrick
    Definitely liking the CSWP one, whoever thought of that deserves a cookie.
  • VLewis
    Cant mate well ha you put this face to that face this corner to that corner. haha lucky solidworks aint a sport or black people would own it an make u look bad and retire. SolidWorks is my life i EAT SLEEP DREAM AND DREAM SolidWorks is no time for women in my life jus Solidworks if i want a girl ill jus creats her an we'll go on 3D dates
  • Matt
    This is aritcle is funny, but the mating problem is becoming serious lol! People across the world are not mating correctly. My friends in my computer class say they mate retarded.
  • RaYn_ChAoS13
    I think this was really funny. I think these are very good tips. It's really great that people still have this kind of hunmor. lol.
  • JkELLY
    This is very funny, espically number five about yelling in autocad users faces because they have to use and the jacket too i would definately buy 1
  • Jamal
    Well if you dont know how to mate then you probaly have a yellow mustang with neons. In other words you have no must be confused at life and need to create a yellow mustang with girly neons club.
  • Kal
    ha ha ha number 5 thats funny i can really see the happening to someone in solidworks vs. AutoCADD.lol
    solidworks IS SOOOOOO MUCH EASIER!!!! LOL... BTW VLewis your gay thats the only girl u can ever get is a 3D model in Solidworks at least you don't have to hear her cry like jweezy (gaymal)...lol and you don't have to worry about her reading your text messages or changing your number around like Mr. Barge... lol have funny kiddys
  • Nikki
    I think number 4 was funny. I think you can learn a little bit from some of theses tips.
  • starr
    I thought that all of them was funny.But i really like number 4 bout the shot shorts and pretending your riding a bike down the hall.
  • T.C.
    To bad SolidWorks doesn't let you overdefine sketchs. I can't stand autocad and i have said SoildWorks rocks in the face of an autocad user. i love SoildWorks.
  • Kal
    at least i can drive jamal!!!! the government didn't take me liscence ha ha ha the short bus is calling your name JAMAL!!!!
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