The Objet 1000 is a seriously killer machine if you want ultra-high res large-scale 3D prints. No doubt about it. So why, Lord of mercy, did they want to associate it with an 80′s action cartoon jingle? Studies show that the Objet 1000 jingle reduces life expectancy to exactly 00:01:51. It is believed that no one–not one person–has yet listened to the entire length of the “song” and without gouging out their ears with can openers, chewing on tin foil, and/or rubbing their faces on cheese graters. WARNING: This post should not be viewed by anyone. Ever.

Frankly we’re not sure what to make of this. Is this a brilliant viral marketing move, or an attempt to convince the 3D printing community do themselves bodily harm, thus further reducing their chances of participating in traditional fabrication techniques ever again? I, for one, am internally conflicted. Shall I bang my face on this drawer of steak knives before dunking my head in that bucket of lemon juice, or perhaps pour kerosene down my ear holes and throw myself into this blast furnace? Life choices worth pondering.

SolidSmack Staff caption contest

Objet 1000 Jingle evokes rainbows, unicorns, and 3D-printed breakfast cereal
Objet 1000 Jingle: Would your rather have your fingernails peeled back with a fork? Yes. Please.
Survey says Objet 1000 Jingle worse than Gangnam Style. By a lot.
Objet 1000 Jingle: We only wish it were in Korean.
New Objet1000 Jingle – So Bad, it’s Rad.
Objet1000 Jingle – Millions spent on R&D, zero on marketing.
Objet1000 – Revolution in 3D Printing, Devolution in Sound (or Marketing, or Jingles)
Objet1000 – One jingle you DO NOT want to hear this Christmas
Objet1000 Jingle – layer by layer of weirdness, multiple materials of god-awfulness

Staff picks from the YouTube quotes

Chris Michaels
Really cool inovation, but whoever wrote this song should be killed in their sleep

optimusprime806
Wow, I had no idea this technology was available in the mid-90′s.

David Vazquez
Holy cheesus.

trincotactical
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH­AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH­AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH­AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Filed under: FAB NEWS

  • PSY

    Must………..sharpen………..pencil……….and……….stab………….ear….drums……can’t……..make…….i…AAAAAAAH!

  • martyn day

    And I thought the black eyed peas had promised to stop writing jingles

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=822755054 Mark Young

    They said 3D Printing was cool…..then, this happened.

  • Adam

    They should release the stems for remixing.

  • Lee Lloyd

    Oh, I feel so bad for the people who had to make this video. Back in another life, I did corporate multimedia, and you have no idea how painful it is to have a client hand you some awful jingle, and then to have to hear it over, and over, and over again through the entire production pipeline.

  • Adam

    I can well imagine–we’ve all been there, man. Hats off to all those who suffered through the making of this promo.

  • DonPaul

    I was experiencing shortness of breath while watching this…really.

  • Nate

    This is the death of 3dprinting

  • Nate

    I used to think 3D printing was cool…now, im not sure

  • Eric

    *song

  • Eric

    This long is much more catchy in Hebrew.